#where I can't fucking ignore how little people fucking care about my art

[bpd-cinderella]

Why the fuck doesn't my art get any fucking attention what is wrong with my art that it's not worth sharing why why why why why

[snickerdoodlles]

headcanons behind fic: Chay's allowance and KimChay zero baht dates mentioned in long & short

Kim chokes trying not to laugh. “Seriously Angel?” Chay looks at him, lips pulled into a pouty moue like what? “You only take me out on zero baht dates, but you’ll pay people to draw us as cats?” Chay sniffs primly. “I only use my allowance for education and fine art,” he says, haughty.

Korn giving Porsche and Chay a large allowance comes up in a lot of my fics I think, because I see him giving all of his sons and his wards a large allowance. And for once, it's not actually a part of his usual manipulation and control tactics.

(Well. It's not not about manipulation and control, because everything Korn does involves manipulation and control. Korn absolutely monitors their accounts and purchases, not to mention he's absolutely the sort of person to always have a mental ledger of favors given and owed for everyone, especially family.)

However, he doesn't need to control any of the boys' finances to have control over them and he's so present over all of them that giving them access to their own money (vs having them request it from him directly) doesn't give him any more advantage over them or could even run counter to it.

No, I see Korn giving all the boys a hefty allowance as a personal push back against the ghost of his father.

We don't know anything about grandpa Theerapanyakul beyond the fact that Gun invoked his name while yelling at Korn and the mere comparison of them rattled Korn more than the literal gun war happening in his own home. Of all the terrible fathers in this series, the grandpa takes the cake apparently!

Alongside Korn's deep-seated control issues, he also has this weird...thing where he really, really wants to be seen as a caretaker and good provider. He never outright denies his sons and is seemingly very supportive of them-- Khun was allowed to fall back and be taken care of, Kim was allowed to live separately to become a musician, he paid off judges in the name of Kinn's childhood dream, later he supports Kinn and Porsche's relationship-- and the whole fucked thing with Nampheung and the narrative he's constructed around him taking care of her. Even Korn's relationship with Gun is a little bit weird given how much he talks about competition. Like, he desperately wants to be seen as a good provider and caretaker, he just also can't stop being Korn and has that stupid-ass metaphor with the knife and the apple. It's a very crunchy contradiction.

Anyways, Korn's issues aside, I see Korn giving his sons and later wards personal allowances as a part of his personal image of himself as a good provider.

And Porsche and Chay hate it.

(Porsche reminds Chay they're very grateful. Chay mutters where was this help when Porsche took out an informal loan too young. Porsche hisses and whips his head around for any walls that are listening.)

Chay mostly just tries to ignore the supposed pile of money apparently just...sitting there, for him, and spend no differently than how he usually would (it doesn't feel real, digital money is never real to him). However, after so many years of Porsche sacrificing to save money for his needs and future, Chay can't bring himself to ignore the account completely when it comes to things like school or food. He never actually looks at his account, he mostly just squeezes his eyes shut whenever he uses his card for essentials and waits for the system to deny him, except it never does. That does not make Chay feel any better about the situation.

The only time Chay's close to breaking his "no treats" stance is shortly after he and Kim get together. Chay wants so badly to treat Kim to something really special, but. Money. He frets. He makes a pros and cons list. He paces. He has an entire argument with himself in the mirror. He angsts. He takes one look at Kim's happy face over a candlelight dinner and decides fuck it, that's a guy he's going to spoil to the moon and back, stupid blood money allowance be damned.

Except, as established, Chay's never looked at his actual account, so he goes to Cash the accountant to see what his options are for spoiling dates. Like, he's been paying his tuition and the card always goes through at the grocer or noodle house, and Korn does keep telling him his school allowance includes some extra spending money, but Chay wants to spoil Kim. A band they like will be on tour in Bangkok around Kim's birthday, Chay's gunning for special VIP tickets and some extra money for merch and dinner. Surely stupid rich mafia has plenty of money to spare for that.

Chay: would I, uh, be able to get a little extra money? tickets are 3000 but they're for a really special occasion and-

Cash, thinking about Kinn's 3000 dollar helicopter tickets: I don't care, let me just pull up your account details

Chay: thank you so much 🥺

Then Cash turns his screen around to ask Chay how much money he needs and. That is. A lot of money. So many digits. The decimal certainly in the wrong spot. Then Chay looks to the top of the corner and nearly screams because that's his name on the account, what the fuck?

Cash: Khun Korn said to have enough money to cover your tuition

Chay: [does not point out the initial balance was 3x his four year tuition]

Chay...leaves. He thinks. He doesn't know how he got from Cash's office to his room but his next stop is his bed to scream into his pillow until his throat hurts. Fucking rich people.

In protest, Chay takes Kim out the next evening on a zero baht date. They walk along whatever part of the river's nearest to their university to watch the sunset, have to jump a fence and duck two railings to even find a private sitting space away from any other river goers. The view's passable at best, at least free of most industry stuff thanks to the proximity to school but hardly the most inspiring. Chay spreads out his flannel for them to sit on, and feeds Kim dry packet ramen and stale shrimp chips he got free from a university event. He didn't even buy a drink, they survive off a mostly full bottle of grape soda Chay stole off a friend.

(It's a magical evening for Kim, obviously. Ferreting out little hidden spaces hand-in-hand with Chay, enjoying the nighttime air curled together, eating terrible cheap food that somehow tastes good? This is DOING things to him. He will be bringing a guitar and minimum two water bottles with him next time tho.)

[technicallyfurrydetective]

Hey people I am one of the trolls who stir some shit up and no not the one who sends death threats or stuff but the one who stirs shit up,

ABOUT ME

Interestingly opposite to popular belief i actually do have a life, a husband and 3 girls who are teens now, i started working again 8 years ago after my youngest started 5th grade and yeah i live a cozy homey life but sometimes i just find stirring shit up for no reason at all so amusing & interesting, like irl no one could guess it would be me, my kids teachers praises me for being a god mom and supporting not just my girls but donating and helping her friends who need it, my girls love me and i love them too, i do don't drink or anything i work, spend time with my friends/children/ hubby and that's about it,

WHY I DO IT

But since last year I posted a post where unintentionally people got heated and the arguments got passionate, and I love watching it unfold and sometimes I can't help but post some stuff on other's tags/anons to stir shit up, i am guilty but sometimes i can't help it,

HOW I DO IT

Takes two minutes to make a new ID with an email which doesn't exist.

HONEST OPINION

It so funny how down bad you are for your ships and honestly a little pathetic as well, like i spent some time on both sides of the shipping fandom and it's so pathetic watching you guys fight tooth and nail to prove your imaginary friends will make it in the book and the other side are disgusting rats with no reading comprehension, especially elriels, like sometimes i make stuff up and send them anons that gwynriels said this or that and they get so triggered like most of the time they won't even fact check, with gwynriels i think they are more pathetic because they generally keep their pro tags clean and pretend to not care but you can tell that they hate elriels to death but will pretend otherwise like to me being a two faced cunt is more pathetic,

Like i can't decide which side is worse because elriel on one side makes it clear that they stalk the other tags and openly posts stuff from others tags on their tags, like i have seen too many "tell me why i saw this EL/GA theory/art?" and care about GA/EL opinions too much, they will fight to death to prove how the other side is crack ship, idiots to see any sort of romance in two characters which they can't see, will follow and support elriel blindly and many more but i don't like typing anymore,

Proof in the comments

WHY GWYNRIELS ARE PIECE OF SHITS

They romanticize and choose the weirdest hill to stand on, like they will die defending tamlin X nyx and tamlin X anyone, they hate the main characters to death why the fuck are you still reading the books and sitting here if you hate the main people so much?

They will romanticize the wierdest shits "GA having sex where most women feel comfortable after being raped, Gwyn felt the bond and the love after she was actively raped,

As a survivor myself i think these people need to be more mindful and intelligent,

And the whole elain gate thing, dude who posted tamlain? like they whine for no reason at all,

Cry bout minor stuff and are the reason for the threats trolling like if they kept quite and ignored the trolling would've stopped,

Hate elriel and also think they are idiots for not seeing sparks and glows but will act like a two faced cunt and pretend they don't

Proof in comments:

So really both sides are pathetic and i am too but honestly life is getting too busy so maybe i won't be here,

And i wanted to say this before i left,

You guys are the real ones who need a life and i need a psychopath assessment, i'll get it done soon or go to therapy but for now BYE,

Hope you all love and hope you guys understand that you are all the same people

[guerriya-ghost]

Can't believe 911 ABC is what finally got me to post on here, but whatever ... also working on my mental health BUT WHATEVER

I love how 911 plays with ghosts and spirits and superstitions, I think it's fun! Especially being someone who is pretty spiritual.

I also think it's really funny how much Eddie just doesn't believe in it. Being Mexican myself it seeps into your daily life without even knowing ya know. Someone in your family either visits or is a curandera, sobadora, psychic (to a certain extent)

I digress. I just wanted to get a fic idea out there! That maybe I'll write maybe I won't 🤷🏻

It starts off as normal day, ya know. They get a call that doesn't seem as crazy as it turns out it will become. A small fire in a design firm. They were testing out some oil paints for a specific brand. They didn't clean/dispose of the rags correctly they ignight. Things get pretty big bc the paint is also there and other art supplies that are flammable (as many thinning agents that are used for oils are), but almost everyone is accounted for in the evacuation and they're doing the final rounds looking for people as they're slowly controlling the fire.

Buck, bc it's usually Buck, finds the last person they're looking for, and the person runs towards him, and he runs to them as the room is half engulfed in flames. And in true 911 fashion, something explodes, things collapse and Buck as much as he tries to shield the person, the person under him still gets gravely injured and it's gonna take a while before they get dug out.

They talk for a bit, they do that half-hearted laugh where anyone who's been in a shit situation does, and the person is slowly slowing down. For whatever it's worth, in a different life, they could've been friends. The person tells Buck this much, you can hear Buck crumble.

They've been face to face this whole time, Buck isn't holding the debri up, but there isn't much room to move off anyway. The person has a nice smile and below the smell of soot and fire they smell like clean linens and fresh air.

It's not looking good.

The person breaks, confesses that they're scared and everything hurts and they don't straight bawl but they are crying. They also apologize to Buck they hope they don't haunt him. They tell him thank you, for talking with them, for being so kind and calm, for holding onto hope that the person never had to begin with, it made the waiting bareable. They say to Buck that they hope he doesn't feel guilt, that it's ok even if they are scared and want to live bc he made this all bearable.

They ask if he could hug them, that they always looked for someone to hug them when they were scared. And Buck does obviously. He's careful and gentle but he allows him self to lean on the person, he feels them go slack. He's crying.

They dont die but they fall into a coma. And you get to see the ghost of the person follow Buck and his team around.they realize they can manipulate little things, let themselves be known.

And Buck does notice and he's like wtf ... WTF.... he tells Eddie. Eddie laughs him off but the rest of the crew play along bc if anything Hen and Chim can fuck with him. That is until Jee start talking about imaginary friends and Hen keeps losing thing only for them to reappear Ina random place, completely impossible.

So they accept the ghost, except Eddie, weird things are happening to him but he ignores them. Everyone talks and hangs out with the ghost they have fun and play pranks and yadda yadda. Eddie lives in denial for a bit.

And then they get another call. And then it's Eddie that goes down. And then it's Eddie's heart that stops. And then it's Eddie looking down at his body and the ghost is next to him and ... hey he recognizes them. And they're like yeah, I've just been keeping an eye on Buck, and the rest of my family. Somethings been telling me to wait, idk for what but I know realize that it was for you. Eddie is sure he's crazy now, bc how and what??

They laugh bc there are no thoughts, only truth in the space they currently inhabit. It isn't your time yet, they say. They grab Eddie's hand and lead him back to his body. He's crashing, and then he panics and asks how to go back, and the person responds that it has to be the right time. That the physical body and spiritual body need to balance. That the drugs and life-saving actions need to take effect, and he needs to feel the tug back. Eddie is guided back into his body but before he goes the person hugs him hard and says give Buck one of these for me.

Some other stuff happens, the person returns to their body too and eventually goes to visit both Buck and Eddie. They both remember what happen, and the person remembers all their pranks too. The team is floored and so is the person but maybe the 118 make a new friend and maybe they all believe in something deeper too.

[summertrynnacope]

CW: Nazism, TribeTwelve, swear words, (vent??)

Spoilers for EMH, Canyouseethewords blog, TribeTwelve and Sebastian's Journal.

Hi, it's me again. No shit. So. It's been like a month since the whole drama unfolded and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I know things have quieted down lately, and like many others, I wish we could all move on and forget this ever happened. However, I can't simply recover from it, mainly because I feel the posts about me continue to spread on this platform, radiating the negativity and false info about me to this day. This drama has been devouring me for a long time now, and I've decided to make another post. I gotta admit I haven't been 100% honest in my previous post, it was more of my attempt to back off, cry over it and avoid this drama. But I'm not doing that again. I'm done pretending and I'm tired of being nice and tolerating others when they're completely misguided. I'm fucking angry. That's why I decided to make one more post about this and I have so many things to say. This is not another apology post, think of it as a vent post and recap explanation of everything where I'll be brutally honest.

Also, if anyone of you is a Nazi supporter, get the fuck out. I do not welcome you here.

First of all, I do not understand why my efforts have been ignored. I did everything that was asked of me. I acknowledged my so-called ''mistakes'', I owned up to them, deleted the posts, apologized, explained my intentions, and you decide to just fucking ignore it?? What do you want from me then, huh? I'm not the ignorant here, you are fucking ignorants. Made me realize I actually haven't done anything wrong. Made me wonder if I should've even deleted those posts, I put a lot of effort into them, and some people actually liked them. It's not my fault some of you are sensitive and brainwashed by censorship culture and you can't accept or understand a canon-accurate depiction of characters. You think I've been sweeping something under the rug? No. In fact, it's the opposite. You've been sweeping this whole shit under the rug by dismissing me as a Nazi supporter, just because I drew something that was considered canon for so many years. I've done nothing wrong, I've been honest about my art the entire time. I draw what I enjoy and what is accurate to the lore. I love history and the Slenderverse, and I draw canon-accurate content, yet you get mad over it. It's so ridiculous. If this post can't open your fucking eyes, I don't know what else will, and frankly I don't care anymore. I'm done with this shit. I've acted like the adult I am, and took responsibility. However I'm not going to point any fingers or dismiss anyone specifically, because I am not like this.

And to everyone: If you don't like something, just ignore it. But if it really seems problematic and malicious, why not contact the person directly and talk it out, or find ways to know their true intentions instead of making hundreds of hate-posts about them like some pissy children. This is such a toxic behavior.

About the whole Nazi stuff:

Don't get me wrong. Nazism is a sensitive topic, I understand that. But I think being offended by it right now, in the 21st century, is just so ridiculous to me. I understand it can get very annoying tho. They talk about WW2 and the Austrian painter on TV non-stop. But being offended by some art? Like, are you serious. Do you realize Nazi shit has been in so many fanfiction, stories and literature for so many years, and you have no reason to get offended by it? The Nazi concept has been used in so many media, whether just for a joke or a serious plot point. South Park, Family Guy, Indiana Jones, Marvel Universe, X-Men, The Boys, and God knows what else.. Would you get offended by a fanart of cute little fat boy Eric Cartman? Of course not. But I can easily say: ''He's a Nazi! You drew a cute fanart of him! You're a Nazi supporter!'' That's you. That's how you sound. Do you see how ridiculous that is? There are thousands of people shipping him with Kyle Broflovski, oh but he's a Jew, and they hate each other in the show. Yet there are artists who make ship art of them. Does anyone complain? At the end of the day, they're just fictional characters, and I rather ignore it even if it kinda annoys me. Btw, South Park is just an example of this issue, I'm not targeting anyone or anything specifically here.

The Brandit post:

I really need to go back and add something to that post of HABIT saying ''LET'S FUCK AND PISS OFF OUR ANCESTORS.'' which creeped Firebrand out (honest reaction). That quote seemed really harsh, I know. Was it bad humor? Yeah.. But do I regret drawing this? At this point, I must say no. I did not stutter. As I said, I will be brutally honest from now on. Do you think HABIT wouldn't say that? Do you think he wouldn't say something sexual to a Jewish person, or frankly to anyone really? Yes, he would!! It's in his nature, he's fucked up. Are we trynna ignore the fucking scene of HABIT pulling the jerk off gesture at Noah?? Did we all not see the same thing?? He is like this. He makes fun of him while adding Christmas decorated borders on a letter for him. He's aware Noah is Jewish, yet he pulls a sexual gesture at him. Don't try to deny this one.

About the symbols... From what I've just said, I drew the little symbols there next to them (Star of David and Hakenkreuz) because I wanted people to see and realize the fact that these two guys are a Jew and a (former) Nazi, which people have been sweeping under the rug, not me. Also, if anyone remembers the post I made, I believe I wrote ''I should have put Christmas borders there as well/jk.'' under it or something like that. I removed it later on because people didn't seem to get it. It was obviously a reference to Severance. Everything I draw is a fucking reference. That being said, this post was made for awareness, not romanticization, and I do not ship them, neither romantically nor platonically, I just really like drawing them together, because of their iconic trope, canon interactions, mutual respect and shared spite for Slenderman, and the fact that HABIT helped Noah many times. That's it. Also, I wouldn't ship HABIT with anyone romantically. That is just wrong in so many levels.

Canyouseethewords blog and Sebastian's Journal:

If you didn't grasp the point of the Josef Mengele post either, go read Canyouseethewords blog here on Tumblr. It's part of the EMH lore. Basically, this blog belonged to Evan's girlfriend Stephanie, but HABIT takes over the blog later on and makes various posts about infamous real serial killers, such as Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, and even the Nazi doctor, Josef Mengele. Whether HABIT wanted to imply that he's possessed those various people, that part of lore remains silent. At some point, I believed he's possessed those various people, so I wanted to to draw one of them, and I chose to draw Josef simply because I liked the idea of the connection with him and The Event from T12. That's it. And if that weren't the case that he's possessed any of those people, which would be rather a big relief, he's still possessed a different Nazi character in T12, which has been retconned. A character that no one really seems to know of, which is understandable. I get that some people don't want to analyze and support T12 anymore after what Adam did. In all honesty, I think sometimes it's best to separate the creator from the creation. I hate Adam, but I love T12. Anyway, in the story of Sebastian's Journal is a guy named Sergeant Heine who is (or was supposed to be) possessed by HABIT at some point. It implies to Severance where HABIT said he's been working with a group of Nazis on a particular project, including Sebastian. However, that connection has been retconned.

The HABIT/Nazi lore shit, people keep complaining and pissing about for no reason:

Listen, it was part of the lore for so many years that it's difficult to simply ignore it now. As someone who's been part of the Slenderverse fandom for years, going back, I just cannot think of it as a non-canon at this point. And I've already said the point of HABIT's character, and you all should know this by now. However I'll clarify it again anyways. The point is that he's an abomination of all the horrific actions humanity has committed, including atrocities of Nazism. He's done so many bad shit, as if eating a baby on screen wasn't enough, yet, of all the things he's done, people get mad over him being a former Nazi?? Like are you kidding me.. It's so ridiculous and hypocritical.

However... When I think about it, maybe HABIT was never even a Nazi, I mean- Working with them is one thing. He probably doesn't even give a single fuck about some ideology bullshit. He likely participated in the Nazi party purely for the sake of killing people. He wouldn't care less if his victims were Jews, Romani, or anyone else, he simply enjoys killing people for the sake of torture. Heck, he doesn't even remember the name of the party he was in. In Severance, he stuttered when trying to say ''Nazis'', which, in my opinion, was funny as hell. But that one is just an idea of his character.

Anyway. Even if HABIT wasn't a former Nazi at all, would it change anything? Absolutely not. He would still be the same horrible piece of shit he is. And sorry not sorry, but he was never meant to be a likable character. As a well-written antagonist, yes. But as a person? Hell no, so far from it. There is literally no reason for people to get mad over him being a former Nazi, and if you are, it's hypocritical of you, considering everything else he's done.

I must say one more thing, and it's the only thing I'm truly sorry for is that I didn't put content warnings and explanations on those posts. I made people angry unnecessarily for my impulsive actions.

I think that's all. Perhaps I've learned something by the end of the day, and I hope that at least some of you who are reading this, have learned something as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (if you have), I appreciate it so much. See you on the flipside.

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

Haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're doing well! <3

Hey, nonnie - I'm doing alright. Personal ramble below the cut. Skip if you're just here for fanfic reading and don't care about my silly little melodrama.

Not going to go into too much detail, but I've been really feeling the depression lately. For context, I have clinical depression and take a really high dose of antidepressants, which fuck with other aspects of my life (i.e. weight and lack of sleep). Medical consensus is that I'll need medication for the rest of my life as my brain does not perform the appropriate mood-regulating functions (I'm not super sure what the specifics of this are). I've struggled with low feeling, demotivation, SI/SH etc. for nearly nine years now. I've slipped into a bit of an episode lately - not necessarily related to being online but Tumblr is a part of it - but I'm trying to work my way out of it by picking up some new-old hobbies, such as crochet, and doing things that I like and that don't stress me. I'm safe and don't have the opportunity to action any of my feelings, so please don't worry about me!

Unfortunately, Tumblr has been a source of stress for me since I've come on here. I've made some downright terrible choices in friends, in behaviour, in the amount of energy I commit to this space, and the only one who can really break this cycle is me. This site hosts a really wide range of personalities, and I just... feel like I've encountered some of the absolute worst among all of that, and it's done me absolutely no favours when it comes to making good choices. We all say that as adults, we should know better, but there's no sudden switch that flips, you know? We spend our whole lives making mistakes and learning from them. Adulthood isn't the abrupt entry into moral infallibility, and that's been something I've had to address and work through when it comes to my own failings.

To be perfectly honest, Tumblr isn't a supportive place. Or the people aren't. I don't really know which. To clarify, I do generally speak of the community of artists and writers in this, not the people here who just want to enjoy art or read someone's fanfic. I suppose there's a certain level of - I don't know - self-centredness? - when it comes to creating an online presence and sharing one's own creations on the internet. That mentality, I think, bleeds over into feelings of entitlement in creative communities. Entitlement to other people's time, to people's attention, to people's promotion, and when one doesn't get that, the problems start: (best to worst =) transactional interaction, badmouthing, hate anons, public bashing, and the list goes on. I've definitely been someone who has been upset by people's lack of interaction. I've responded with "oh, I'm not reblogging until they reblog mine" more than once. We all know that I've been involved with badmouthing and publicly bashing others. I continue to be very ashamed of this, and I am honest with myself about what I've done and how I got there in my journey working through my problems and making meaningful change in my life.

Anyway, point is - I'm trying to divorce myself from the entitlement, and I think to do that I need to divorce myself from the notion that we exist as a community. I've put far too much effort into that idea, and it's gotten me absolutely nowhere. There are more people who dislike me than not. Most just straight-up ignore me. I deserve it, sure, but (or maybe and) I have no intention of continuing to engage in a space that either doesn't exist or where I'm not wanted. I've felt anxious and upset at the mere thought of going on Tumblr the past few months. It hasn't been bringing me joy anymore, and that was the whole point of it. There's so much bad blood associated with being on here, but I love writing. I love this show. I can't give up something that makes me so happy in every respect other than this one site.

So I've taken some time off, reassessed the way I'm intending to use this space, and I've essentially decided that I started it for me so I'm going to do it for me. I'm going to interact with who I want and post what I want and damn absolutely everyone who tries to police me (of which there has been A LOT - apparently I have a "responsibility" to support others which I now know is actually code for "I'm jealous that you're getting any kind of attention online, so instead of addressing my issue with this, I'm going to vaguepost about/anon/DM you to try and guilt you into giving my work attention so that maybe it'll transfer to me").

For the casual peruser, no change at all. But I'm done giving my effort to the idea of 'community'. It doesn't exist, or I don't belong. I am going to do what makes me happy now, and only what makes me happy. That's the whole point. I'm sick of focusing on negatives. I'm sick of posting about them, to be honest. I think this mindset will do me good.

If you've gotten this far, I hope that it's okay that I've decided this. I'm feeling positive about it!

[distinguishedvoidkid]

TW for a big chunk of text and venting (about Halloween)

dont read this

I've often wondered what it is like to celebrate Halloween. I've missed out on well over a decade's worth of one of the most popular celebrations.

How exciting is it to finally have your newest costume arrive in the post? Or to finish making it? Do you buzz with excitement while getting dressed up? How often do you practice that make up look? How much time, effort and money went into that? It doesn't even matter does it? You live in the moment and you enjoy it. This is commonly known as the one night each year when you can dress however you want and not be judged. How freeing is that? Do you still feel insecure? Do you still feel judged? I doubt it. I bet you feel stunning.

And how is it to knock on a stranger's door and ask for sweets? Does all of your normal anxiety wash away on Halloween? What is it like to reach into that bag of sweets? What's it like to spread your sweets out on your bed at the end of the night and count them? When you go back to school how excited are you to tell people what you got? When people asked me, I felt worse. Because I never experienced that.

It's so lonely, not being able to celebrate. I've never been popular- I'm autistic. Ever since I was a tiny child, I've been different. This was followed up by years of bullying and loneliness. And to stop that child from celebrating Halloween? Going trick-or-treating is so normal, so fun. And that's the one night where you can't be hated for being weird. And you didn't let that little kid experience that. Hell, you didn't even let them look out the window at it. You turned off all the front lights so nobody knocked, and if they still did, you taught me to ignore it and hate it.

How many memories have I missed out on? Do people even realise how much it hurts? My best friends, my partner, everyone I love is showing me their beautiful costumes. What do I say? "Oh, that's nice, I'm so happy for you.". You don't know that each picture, each message, feels like my heart is being ripped out again. I could be there with you. I could be out celebrating all night. No. I'm not allowed. I feel so selfish for being jealous, but should I feel selfish? This is a near-universal experience and I won't be able to understand it until I'm "too old" to do it.

Fuck my parents. Fuck their religion. Why do I have to miss out on such a magical experience because why? Because you don't want me to, you disapprove of it. Sorry, my bad. I won't even show you this cute art of a ghost I saw, because even that makes you dislike me.

I am so lonely. I missed out on all of 'Spooky Season". missed out on Halloween. I missed out on seeing my friends. I missed out on my costume, on trick-or-treating, on pumpkin carving, on handing out sweets. Good for you.

And nobody even cares? Nobody sees how difficult it is to be excluded like this? They can't imagine an autumn without Halloween. They don't understand, they just think it's weird. They might insult my parents or call me weak or too scared. They don't try and include me. This year on Tumblr is the closest I've got to celebrating Halloween, with a bunch of people on the internet, but Inbox Trick-or-Treating doesn't exactly cut it. I'm still so grateful to everyone online who included me this year, but I'm still so lonely.

And I was actually home alone all afternoon. From 14:00 to 20:45 I was home alone. Where was my family? Oh, they were at a party. An ANTI-HALLOWEEN PARTY. A Christian party. My mum works at a church. They had a lot of fun but that religion traumatised me too much to go. So I was alone for the entire time Halloween was celebrated. No friends- they were out, no family- they don't give a fuck, just me on the internet, spiraling.

Sorry.

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Batfamily Secret Santa

With the holidays coming up here's my headcanon for what each of the batfamily members would get each other if they were doing a secret Santa. (And yes, I know Bruce is canonically Jewish, but I believe either Tim or Dick are some denomination of Christian so I'd imagine they have a mixed holiday celebration at the manor)

Bruce (got Stephanie)

Ok so Bruce is super generous on a good day and I can't imagine Steph wouldn't be dropping hints since Thanksgiving, so he'd probably give her everything she asked for plus a new movie Wayne manor doesn't have, so after the celebration they could watch it together as a one-on-one bonding thing since he's pretty big on quality time in some versions.

Dick (got Bruce)

Bruce really doesn't expect anything for the holidays which is perfect because I have this headcanon that Dick is actually really bad with giving gifts. Someone bullied your little sister? Not on his watch. Life advice? He'll pull from his past experiences to tell you what not to do. Emotional support? Bro he's there. But birthday/anniversary/holiday gifts? Expect a mug with Snoopy's face because you both watched Charlie Brown together once. In July. He's just that kind of gift giver. So I'm thinking Dick would get Bruce a dinosaur themed 1,000 piece puzzle because Bruce likes dinosaurs and he likes puzzles so boom! Match made in heaven, ya boi is a genius. 😎

Barbara (got Jason)

Babs is a pretty practical person so her secret Santa to Jason probably consisted of a gift bag with manly smelling body wash, a gift card to Barnes & Noble, and a CD mixtape of Jason's Spotify favorites so he can pop it into a car and listen to it during long car rides.

Duke (got Damian)

So Duke is a pretty creative person when he's passionate about a project and his ideas are definitely one of a kind, but I think for some time he would really struggle with coming up with a secret Santa for Damian because he isn't all that close with Robin. He knew Damian appreciated weapons but he's also the type of person to not want Damian to think that weapons are all he is by getting him one. Presents for Damian's pets are off the table since Damian spoils them on every day of the year, so Duke would probably gift Damian something for the child he is, since Damian never had a childhood. Maybe a telescope so Damian could look at the stars with his family on clear nights. Just like what Duke's mom gave him as a boy for the holidays one year.

Cass (got Dick)

Cass didn't receive material gifts for most of her life so she probably enlisted Alfred's help. Given that the butler knows Dick pretty well, they decided to give him a gift basket with blue ribbon that had a T-shirt of his favorite band, some flash fuzzy socks (Wally would approve), and his favorite holiday candy. Dick is really more of a quality time kind of person if you want to make him to feel special, so it didn't need to be elaborate anyway.

Jason (got Cass)

I don't care how much people try to make Jason into a sexist, ignorant-to-the-fine-arts kind of person. Jason doesn't give a fuck about gender stereotypes and he loves learning, especially about classical things like literature or fine arts. For his secret Santa to Cass he got them both tickets for a weekend trip to Russia to see a ballet in person in one of the grandest cities in Russia. Cass has obviously been to many places across the world, but it was always for a mission and nothing more. For the holidays, Jason gifted her two days where they could travel and explore the culture, living like locals or being those stereotypical tourists just for shits and giggles. Just a few days without work to relax and live happy lives as regular people. When Cass got her gift Jason pulled her aside afterwards to explain it, so she wouldn't cry in front of everyone. And she did cry. Just a little. So did Jason.

Tim (got Duke)

Tim wouldn't think too hard about Duke's gift since he knows the people Duke hangs out with. Or could find them. Getting Duke a gift was as simple as casually running into Duke's friends and asking them about what Duke likes. Not that he or Duke's friends ever mentioned this to Signal, so when he opened his secret Santa and found some hyper-specific things amongst some more generic gifts, he began to wonder just how much Tim knew about his life.

Stephanie (got Babs)

Steph is absolutely the type of person to get someone for Christmas something they want themselves. So a lot of the gifts Bruce gave her look similar to what Babs got from Steph. Not that she means anything by it, but in her mind if it's worth wanting, someone else close to her probably wants it too. And Babs doesn't mind. She already bought herself a new desk light after the old one got knocked down one too many times, so it doesn't matter if she has a cute keychain to go on it.

Damian (got Tim)

Regardless of his age I think a younger sibling will always be a younger sibling. Damian would probably give Tim a large fancy gift bag filled with tissue paper... and nothing else. He'd do it just to see Tim's reaction to rifling through the bag for several moments to come up empty. Then, when Tim admits defeat, Damian would hand over a gift he asked Jon to pick up for Connor, nicely wrapped with Tim's forged signature and everything. He wasn't about to get Tim a gift but it's okay because he knew Tim would've somehow forgotten to get his boyfriend a holiday gift anyway. (And he did)

[xiakeik]

U know especially for someone who hasn't consumed JJK in awhile, that's really accurate. I'd really love more details if u want but not only is that super accurate but man what a fucking fun character that would be. Idk even know who I'd want to see them interact with the most because I want to see them interact with everybody. The stuff like doing insane things to win arguments and caring so much about how they look is such a perfect way to combine their traits too

Little rushed comic I thought I could do of their interaction with Mr. Stanford Pines himself!

Further explaination under the cut :]

Some other fun things I thought of regarding Nopher that aren't specifically related to Ford/anyone:

Nopher (which I'll say is the fusion name), definitely will have a hard time getting used to the body first. If you think about it, it's just Sukuna & Itadori in Season 1 (which btw, IF my art block doesn't attack me, i MIGHT draw an interaction btwn them). Simply not pleasant LMAO. Ford doesn't really know what to do with it because Nopher isn't much of a threat for the moment. Another thing to note is that Nopher kinda just showed up to to Ford's doorstep (thanks Bill) and while Ford DOES immediately recognize Bill in Nopher, he does not recognize the physical body he inhabits. Ford doesn't know Nobara, and Nobara doesn't know Ford. Only connection they really have with each other is Bill. I feel like Ford would be VERY intrigued by how Nobara, who likely doesn't have much knowledge on Bill, is able to withstand brief periods of possession per say? I'd like to think that although Ford really doesn't want to do anything with Cipher At All, he can't really ignore the fact that he got a "random" person involved. Obviously Nopher's capable of pretty much the entire arsenal that Nobara & Bill have (except Bill's powers might be a teensy bit limited but they don't know that).

Don't ask me where they get the money from but they do enjoy clothes shopping/shopping in general for the trendy stuff. One of the very few things they "enjoy"/have in common.

Nobara within the mindspace once in awhile will get excited to see the things they have around Oregon, same with Bill when they meet the JJK gang in Tokyo.

Bill ABSOLUTELY gets really confused over the idea of being able to see Curses. The creatures released during Weirdmageddon couldn't leave the confinements of the town, so it's a shocker for Bill to find that there are actually other worldly beings residing in a place outside of Gravity Falls. Freely too! (If they aren't killed)

On the contrary though, Nobara will always see the weird stuff happening in Gravity Falls as a threat. She's been trained that way to never let her guard down and she's BRUTAL with it. I think during these times, Nopher's general "crazy" really starts to come out.

Regarding the past 2 bullet points, it's a just whole new struggle for Nopher: Nobara needs to continue protecting people from Curses that normal people can't even see, whereas Bill always wants to try and make allies with them. It's tough.

That's probably all I'm gonna come up with for now!! I do have a semi-large project I'd like to get started on & finish before the end of the week so story-building Nopher may not be prioritized for now. I do hope you enjoyed my ramble though, anon!

[peachesofteal]

I LOVE that new addition of the Dead Disco AU where the guys left UGH

My mind is running at 300 kph and OH GOD the thought of Darling getting a new partner is making me want to cry 😭😭😭

But also I've been thinking about Darling and her new partner for this AU

I don't know if it's self projection because (again) Darling is very relatable to me, and because of that, she gives off the vibe that despite all the sadness, when she's in a better mental space she's so gentle and kind to people, always wants to look the good in the world and believes there's always deeper motivations behind everyone else's actions... Which has lead her to multiple shitty situations, where people often abused her kind nature and her vulnerability. A few shitty friends who criticized her every action and that she found out way too late, partners who constantly crossed boundaries and never knew how to keep their shitty opinions to themselves.

And she thought she finally found the loves of her life, who made her feel loved and wanted and tried to be as healthy as they all could. Up until the day Simon and Johnny broke up with her

And then when they come back and try to be in Bee's life, she decides that she's the one deciding who's getting into her heart and who's not.

Except that with her new partner, she's once again ignoring warning signs and, the new partner is not violent per se, but they're negligent. They don't really know Darling all that well and sure, they want to try to get to know her to some extent, but they also don't care that much for Darling's interests that much tbh

So let's say. Bee is a year and a half old, and Darling's been with her new partner for a little over eight months now, and for any reason, Simon and Johnny came to her apartment while they were having a date night to leave Bee after spending the day with her.

What greets them at the door is their beautiful, lovely Darling that they still love very much, but have now accepted that you're not coming back to them and they'll try to support you and be in your life in any way you let them. But your eyes are puffy and red, your voice sounds broken, like you've been crying your eyes out.

No one mentions it. But you still let them into your home to maybe discuss Bee's new tendencies to bite into people. The glimpse of the dynamic of you and your partner is not good. Johnny and Simon can't believe that while you're ranting about whatever you love (be it gaming or art or literature or possums), your partner not only is on their phone completely ignoring you, giving noncommittal replies, but also they're fucking liking pics of models on whatever social media they have (they don't know that, but that is feeding onto your insecurities SO MUCH). They notice the way your eyes look glossy once more, how your lip trembles and how you try not to let your voice show that you're about to cry.

Simon feels more sad than anything, wanting to erase that sadness out of you and treat you the way he knows you deserve to be treated. Wanting to hold you between him and Johnny and never let go. But Johnny? He on the other hand is livid. His anger turned into acceptance over your permanent departure out of his life, but what he CANNOT accept is the way you're being treated, as if you were less than furniture and your feelings were something on the way of whatever comfort your partner wanted out of you. He gathered all of his willpower to stay put and not knock some sense into your new partner, choosing to find a few minutes later a quiet moment with you on the kitchen.

"Is he really treating you good?"

You hesitate to answer, but reply a quiet, solitary "Yes."

"And are you really happy?"

Your silence says more.

And they're both determined. If they can't have you back at least they can have your back, in whatever way they can without crossing the boundaries you put in place, advice from Laswell still echoing on their minds ("You should give that girl some space and help from the sidelines," it's what she basically stated).

And it works its objective, at least. They remember a fleeing conversation here and there and bring you details about your interest in question (be it a new gaming controller, new art supplies, a book you've been wanting to buy). And they're somewhat making peace with the fact that this is all they're going to be in YOUR life, besides Bee's dads.

That is, until Bee's a few months over two years old and they bring Bee back to you, not a sight of your new partner inside your home.

"What happened to him?" And they try not to sound hopeful, just a little bit.

"We broke up," you say. "We broke up, and I think we three need to have a conversation once Bee is asleep."

OH GOD I'M SORRY FOR THIS MESS. I JUST. YEAH. THIS FIC IS CHANGING THE CHEMISTRY OF MY BRAIN. My boyfriend is aware of the emotional roller coaster that Dead Disco and its AUs is bringing to me 😂 I'M SORRY I DON'T MEAN TO BE ANNOYING I JUST LIKE YOUR FIC WAY TOO MUCH, and your brain that comes up with these ideas ❤️ I hope you know that your writing is one of the most beautiful styles I have ever read, and also I want to let you know that it's very friendly towards non-native English speakers :3 again I'm sorry for this long ask but I really just want to share these thoughts ❤️ I hope you magically find pocket money in one of your jeans!!!

You’re never annoying, I love hearing from you! I’m a little flabbergasted that your boyfriend knows about these AUs but also like… that’s cool! I love and appreciate your kind words 🥲 Reading feedback like this is always so sweet, and I’m blown away by your support. 🩵🩵🩵

You’re totally right. It’s canon in my mind that Darling (you) is kind hearted. Not naive but sweet, somewhat gentle, and sees the better side of others. It does leave you in precarious situations (or has in the past at least) but you’re adaptable, and when you and the guys were good, they built a fortress around you, to protect you. However, it can leave you open, and vulnerable.

And like, it’s not like Darling has the highest self esteem, right? You’re constantly down on yourself, berating yourself in your own mind about how you should be better, be better at taking care of yourself, be better at being a mum, be better at being a partner. Maybe… if you were better, the guys would have never left in the first place. Maybe, if you were better, this one won’t leave either.

And that kind of thinking, allows you to settle for someone who doesn’t really see you. Who doesn’t really care to know you all that well. Who doesn’t really get you, or want to.

But maybe you can’t see that. Maybe, you just see someone who you like, who likes you. Who makes you feel better than you’ve been feeling.

So you can’t see through it.

But the guys certainly can.

[abovecalamity]

I think I've seen you say you don't openly disclose which drivers you dislike before and I wholeheartedly respect that, do not get me wrong! You seem to be a sweet person on here and (forgive me for assuming) like someone who hates conflict of that kind.

So feel free to not answer this. No bad blood. I won't annoy you. 🧡

I'm just so nosy. You have really toned down the Lance Stroll posting compared to the last months and without trying to be rude, have your feelings towards him changed after the whole 'him hanging with zionists' thing? I couldn't find your opinion on this (again feel free to ignore me) and I'd really like to know, because of my own change of heart towards him.

Thank you and please have a great weekend 🧡

I will try my best to answer this. I am apologising if I ramble beforehand. Just letting out my thoughts on this.

Firstly, yes I have said I'm not here to openly hate the drivers I dislike and do stand by that opinion. I don't gain anything from producing or reblogging brainless shit. However, I have been thinking about *maybe* and this is just a *maybe* even doing a serious tierlist / general opinions post myself, to pin. Not because I feel the need to but because I want to. Not that it's massively important what I think lol.

And even then, I will not be found openly hating for the most part. It's just not what I enjoy doing and yes, Idk if you have somehow analysed me but a big part of that is hating conflicts and thriving for a harmony this whole world will never have.

Now, onto Lance Stroll.

Have I toned down my Lance posting? Yes, I have. Have my thoughts on him changed recently? Yes, they have. Have you missed any thoughts of mine that I shared? No, you have not.

I haven't talked about this, except for one lengthy outburst to my friend. If you see this, hello <3

I have mostly spent my time trying to ignore the elephant in the room. I'm not some saint, yes, we're in the sport of unmorality ... I'm not rolling up that whole conversation but simply put, yes I have become more indifferent and way less positive about him when I had to come to the realisation that, based on his surroundings, it is unbelievably likely he's a zionist.

We have had these conversations in the past but at the beginning of May it became very apparent with all the tags and affiliations and so on. How everyone feels about these things are personal and personally I don't mind seeing some of my dearest friends still posting about him. However, I have come to a point where I can't do that anymore. Even if I'm solely asking the emotional irrational side of myself, I'm moving on from him and at this point in time, regarding everything, I believe this is to be a good thing.

You asked for my feelings, here they are.

I don't know if this is my age speaking but of course this fucking sucks. But this has mostly to do with the lovely fandom space and the amazing fanfics I've had the pleasure to enjoy and less about the man himself that I don't know myself.

What I care about in this little fandom space we got here is; making silly jokes, making friends with this shared interest, admiring fan art, having fun with writing fanfic (although I haven't posted in a while, I still daydream about doing it again), reading fanfic (a BIG part for me) and just having a great time overall.

No fucking clue if I communicated this well, but it is what I had to say to this.

It is most likely that I will simply ignore him for now and only speak of him in context to other people - I do not have hateful feelings towards him (whether that's good or bad, it just IS).

I will follow the wise path of indifference and the only thing I really want, is to not lose any friendships which I'm sure won't happen. Other than that, I think I have said what I wanted.

I hope you're having a great weekend too! I'm currently sitting in a thunderstorm lol how ironic.

[rjalker]

This is literally from book 2.

:: added to indicate telepathy.

Martha Wells making it very clear she thinks that robot slave uprisings is a cringey and embarassing cliche. And with book 7 out now, what do you know, absolutely no signs of this idea being challenged in any way.

Because even though Martha Wells is literally the one who decided to write a story about enslaved robots, she doesn't want to write a story about slaves fighting for their freedom. Because she thinks that's cliche and cringey and bad. Because oppressed people violently fighting for their rights is *Faith mimicking Buffy voice* wrong.

::What do you propose to do?::

[Murderbot the former slave asked the currently enslaved person]

There was a pause. A long one, five seconds. ::We could kill them.:: Well, that was an unusual approach to its dilemma. ::Kill who? Tlacey?:: ::All of them. The humans here.:: I leaned against the wall. If I had been human, I would have rolled my eyes. Though if I had been human, I might have been stupid enough to think it was a good idea. I also wondered if it knew a lot more about me than what little was in the newsburst. Picking up on my reaction, ART said, ::What does it want?:: ::To kill all the humans,:: I answered. I could feel ART metaphorically clutch its function. If there were no humans, there would be no crew to protect and no reason to do research and fill its databases. It said, ::That is irrational.:: ::I know,:: I said, if the humans were dead, who would make the media? It was so outrageous, it sounded like something a human would say.

Sarcasm: Slaves wanting to kill the people enslaving them is "irrational" because then who would make new TV shows? Clearly getting to watch new TV shows is the real priority, here! End sarcasm.

And like, as I keep saying, this would have been fine to do if the point here was that Murderbot Is Not Immune to Propaganda and has just as much work to do dismantling the Pro Slavery Propaganda as everyone else.

But we are now at seven whole fucking books.

And Murderbot still hasn't fucking learned that Hey! Slaves Are People Too Even If They're Not Me!!!!

And even if Murderbot never learned this lesson it'd still be fine because you can in fact have protagonists who are bad people, you can even have protagonists who are horrible people! If only any of the other fucking characters or the narrative cared about freeing slaves!!!

But no!!!! Every other character is just as fine as Murderbot with murdering slaves instead of trying to rescue them! The seventh book has ART, who we're supposed to love, casually rip a slave limb from fucking limb while they're still afuckinglive and we're supposed to think it's badass and not horrific!!!!

Martha Wells just keeps constantly reinforcing the idea that slaves are too dangerous to be given freedom, and at seven whole entire books, I'm done waiting for the other shoe to fall, because it's clearly never going to!

Martha Wells didn't set out to write a story about how slavery is bad and everyone deserves equal rights when she decided to write The Murderbot Diaries, she just read The Imperial Radch series and thought "cool robot!!" and ignored literally everything else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She can't even be assed to treat her own robot characters like actual people within the setting! She goes around calling Scary Disabled enslaved people "less sentient than hauler bots" even though she's the one who decided to write a setting where robots are supposed to be people!!!! But she literally can't even be bothered to treat them like people!!!!

[cloud-somersault]

Soul anon here, stalking your blog

I hard agree with you. I dislike so much of how the fandom treats the LMK characters. I don't understand how the fandom loves the show so much and doesn't seem to be able to grasp the characters at all.

Mk isn't written hardly with respect. He's so often reduced to empty air head adhd silly guy when he does have a lot of serious moments or otherwise when it's shown that he is intuitive, intelligent, and has a lot of good instincts.

Macaque is either constantly character bashed or woobified by the fandom, and so many fucking people in the audience fall for the facade he puts up. Like holy shit it's so bad. He's such an interesting character and a joy to watch and people just...seem like they hate him or love him and there's hardly any room for analysis on his motivations and behavior in a way that makes any sense when given full context.

Wukong is like...so loved by the fandom but ALSO is treated with zero respect somehow? Like they think he can't read? And the whole fandom sometimes feels like he can do no wrong when it's shown that he's still making mistakes but he is learning and growing (still! Even after his journey!) And that's a lot of the point to his character too! He's a silly little guy yes, but he's not a baby that the fandom makes him out to be who never does anything wrong. I don't get how he's so beloved by fandom and yet so many fan depictions are so...bad.

And Mei? Oh my god she has such good characterization in the show and so many good moments and yet I can't think of a comic, character analysis or fic where anyone gets her? She's shown to be strong, compassionate and analytical and yet so many people don't bother to let her be any of those things.

(I could keep going. Red Son. Pigsy. Tang. Etc.)

The fandom is small and there's great fanmade art and fic, but it always feels like so many people will get a couple of characters right and then just. Shit on the rest of the characters they don't like. I think it's partially due to that it's a small fandom and lack of people who can view any media with any level of nuance. All that said, it's why I love your fic so much, it feels like you nailed the monkey boys so well.

ohh yeah. there's a lot of younger people in the fandom (not that that's a bad thing but uh) so they're kind of lacking that critical thinking and life experience. not trying to be mean, but that's. literally how growing up works. and y'know, not being able to see the complexity to characters, thinking things are very black and white, etc. It's very frustrating!

MK will always be a great example of this, because the hints of deeper character he has in the show are just outright ignored for funnies and silly haha's for the fandom to enjoy. And Macaque isn't seen for who he truly is. like MK called him out explicitly in the show, and it's like everyone forgot about that. Like all it took for Macaque to drop his facade was someone looking at him for who he is and understanding him. and saying that...who he is okay.

it's just really sad because. you know it's a writing technique/literary device to put these sprinkles of character in, especially when you're working on a show that runs so short. that means every instance of dialogue matters. it's intentional. if they had more time, they could be more forthcoming with this stuff, but that's why there's a lot of things built into the background, too. they're literally using every trick in the book to tell a story BEHIND the story to make up for the small amount of time they have. and dealing with constraints and mandates. like "there has to be a big bad so we can sell sets with the mechs and weapons each season" and they writers are like "okay let's come up with a seasonal villain and everything. again."

But getting back to it -- yeah, Mei, too, is mischaracterized and it's such a shame. she's SO COOL. I love how out there and bright and funny she is! I love that she's so protective and determined. and she CARES about MK, they are best friends they get into some stupid shit together. i'd love to write their friendship, i wanna do that SO BAD PLEASE.

how the fandom treats wukong is part of what inspired me to write this big long fic in the first place. if they're not grossly misinterpreting something he's said/done, they're diluting him down to his cuteness and sweetness and ignoring everything else. and it SUCKS because I LOVE how the show demonstrates that he's not perfect and still needs to develop. Like he IS NOT a good mentor and is actually terrible LMFAO but he's trying!! he's trying. that's why there's so many sunburst duo moments in my fic because, after season 3, i really just see wukong going "okay, i have to take this seriously. for real this time. I don't like how I've been doing things and I need to do better"

and you know, a lot of the time in fandom, people don't know how to respectfully tackle these subjects? so they just focus on the good and ignore the bad -- much easier to handle the good. but straight up ignoring it isn't the way to go, either. ignoring a character's flaws is ignoring half of the character. take away wukong's flaws and that's not wukong anymore. people don't get that. they see flaws as this purely negative thing when they're essential to making characters be characters.

and there's also this tendency to just. take what one person says and parade it around as fact. that's how we got that "wukong can't read" thing going on. when i first saw that, i was so confused because it went against canon. we've seen him read...in the show...he has a laptop i don't. how did we get here LMFAO

and yeah, it extends to every character. it takes time to get characters right. you really have to like. study them. that's why roleplaying is a good way to like develop those characterization skills, but it only works if you're roleplaying with someone who has a good grasp of the show. or just being able to discern a good interpretation from a bad one. discernment is so pivotal. it's just like how, in film and television, you watch bad shows to learn what NOT to do. same thing here. you look at bad interpretations, you look at good ones. then you decide what's good.

not to say that's not what's happening, because that's how we get variance in interpretations. and you know, some people may not care about characterization and are having fun with their dolls. because that's also what fandom is. and it can be a good thing! but it can also be an aggravating thing.

I actually don't think the fandom is small at all. listen -- i know what a small fandom is. on my main, it's a small fandom, because it's me and 9 other people regularly making content for this pairing. like, every day in LMK land, there are new fics. like there are multiple artists making fanart! not so in where i came from

on main i think i'm one of ... five fic authors making content atm LMFAIJOWLMKA

thank you for saying you enjoy my fic! i'm doing my best, and i mostly wrote it out of spite LMFAO but i'll get into that more during my podcast whatever thingy. but thank you for sending this. it's nice to feel seen, i'm glad you agree! that's why you gotta follow/support people who do make content that suits you and makes sense, because then THEY feel encouraged to continue and do greater things!

[theinkedfoxsl]

Choose violence all of them. All of the violence.

omg why

the character everyone gets wrong

not oc: tartaglia. oc: ezel

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

i don't have a compelling argument, all my favs are switches.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I've seen a lot of bad takes on tumblr, I've been here over a decade lmao. But honestly? Most "writing tips" are absolute garbage and constantly contradict themselves and each other.

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

I don't hesitate :) there are no last straws, if i do not like you, goodbye. this has gotten me into shit in bigger communities where people talk to each other but i do not care.

worst discord server and why

my old one<333

which ship fans are the most annoying?

mercy x moira fans and also any tart shipper.

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

Diluc. I was pretty mid on him but after following uhhh certain people who were super annoying about him and awful with his characterization i hate him now.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

what's a common fandom opinion?

worst part of canon

retcons when a media becomes more popular. happened to genshin, overwatch, dbd, ect. They need to pump out more information and they end up contradicting themselves and making their media boring.

worst part of fanon

idk this might just be my issue personally but i watched a lot of people tell a lot of lies to make themselves look better and its. something. i'm here to enjoy a common media, not get into your little cat fights.

number of fandom-related words you've filtered

35 for JUST tags. And its because my mutuals can't tag consistently, yall ANNOYING as hell for that btw. its come to the point where i have to fucking post filter instead of tag filter. i hate yall.

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

(holding corvus) i just think hes pathetic.

worst blorboficiation

diluc or tartaglia, also lion(r6)

that one thing you see in fics all the time

I don't read fics anymore unless its my mutuals. Nothing interests me enough. That being said, lot of fuckboy shit in the old genshin days. he would not do that.

that one thing you see in fanart all the time

a lot of people can't seem the grasp the wide range of asian skintones, let alone shade them correctly.

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

cheating hcs, or thinking kaeya specifically would be a cheater. are you stupid or??

there should be more of this type of fic/art

genuine love for what you're writing rather than what'll get clicks. I can see how soulless some things are.

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

the paladins fandom in general is very much asleep, wake up bro

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Mutual obsession is my weirdest thing I g, it can be done well.

part of canon you found tedious or boring

As I mentioned before, once things start to get retconned and changed, it becomes tedious afterwards. You can see they're stitching together the pieces they think will do well, with no regard to the actual story.

part of canon you think is overhyped

Eh

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

Kaeya's favourite flower is a medicinal one.

ship you've unwillingly come around to

corvus/caspian, meg/trapper.

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

i don't know i don't pay attention lol

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

Graphics updates for dbd.

[foxounderscorecube]

A Court of Frost and Starlight - Sarah J. Maas

2½ ⭐

CW: mention and brief discussion of SA

Sadly, this one was a total miss for me!! It was a book. I read it.

Here's the thing: I really like this series overall, but there's a lot about it that I am not a big fan of. Typically, the stuff I find interesting and fun outweighs the stuff I find cringe in a not-fun way or just not relevant to my preferences. Because this book is kind of a slice-of-life, tying loose ends kind of thing, it was, like, 90% the stuff I don't care for and 10% the characters being cute and celebrating Christmas Winter Solstice. Worst of all, it bored me!

I don't have anything against slice-of-life, but for the characters in these books, a LOT of day-to-day life is spent being horny. I just don't really get it. Rhysand is the worst for it. That man can't go five minutes without getting a raging boner because he glanced at Feyre out the corner of his eye.

You know, for a series with the effects of trauma as one of its primary themes, Rhysand only really tells us that he's traumatised from being a sex slave for 49 years. I'm not saying that his horniness contradicts his trauma in itself - plenty of people who have experienced abuse become hypersexual, in fact - but he generally doesn't show any indication whatsoever that it's impacted his relationship with his body and/or sex. You'd expect, say, a scene where something that should be innocuous - a phrase or a position or way of movement - completely takes him out of it and he has to stop because he's panicking. Not just in this book, I mean, just in general. I know that Rhysand is supposed to be a Wish Fulfilment Boyfriend but the guy's been through hell.

Related to that, but on a positive note, it was sad to see Nesta so isolated and coping so badly, but how very Nesta of her. Of course she doesn't want help or love or anything like that. I am looking forward to seeing her development in the next book, at least.

However, we've already put a damper on her relationship with Cassian. I'll admit, I adored their dynamic in Wings and Ruin - her spikiness that didn't hide the fact that she'd grown so fond of him, and him teasing her about it, it was all so cute. But then Cassian trailing her home when she told him to fuck off? My guy, I get you're worried, but take no for an answer. Don't be a creep. And throwing her Solstice present in the river out of rage was a BIG ick. I hope that's a one-off and he doesn't get all possessive and weird in the next book but I'm not holding my breath because I think the possessiveness might be intended to be hot?

Part of why I think this is because of that sex scene, which was bizarre. They had sex but then they also had sex with their minds? Double sex? And then Feyre showed him a picture of their future son right before he nutted???????????? Surely that'd be off-putting, right? Like, oh, great, I was about to cum, but you showed me a picture of a kid and now I feel a bit uncomfortable, actually.

Sadly, very little Lucien in this book. I like Lucien :(

The art studio story arc was sweet, although it did feel like it fell into Feyre's lap a little too easily, I don't know. She's always a bit of a Mary Sue but it was hard to ignore in this book. She has more money than God and people are just like "oh my dear High Lady, please take everything I own for free". Still, I liked Ressina and I think the whole thing of free art therapy for the kids is nice.

The multiple POV didn't play to Maas' strengths at all. The characters all have distinctive voices in dialogue, but she clearly can't write from their perspective consistently, so instead we get first-person chapters for Feyre and Rhysand (who have almost identical internal monologues - the only difference is Rhysand thinks about sex a bit more and describes himself as "drawling" more often) and then third-person for everyone else. When the first Cassian chapter came up, I thought he was just referring to himself in the third person like a caveman and didn't even bat an eye, so that was funny, at least. But it's a shame, because there was the opportunity for us to get a more intimate look at the side characters and we just… didn't. Multiple POV isn't something that often works for me - it usually reminds me of bad fanfic I read growing up - but it can be done well and this would have been a nice book to have that mix of personality put into it.

Highlights of this book were the Illyrian warrior snowball fight and the discussion about how none of them can be trusted not to investigate wrapped presents like excitable children. That was very cute. I do hope that Silver Flames is an improvement.

[queenimmadolla]

I just scrolled through oneforthemoneys posts and holy shit what a mess. I didnt even read it all. I just started writing fics so i have no hate yet. I know its probably easier said than done but can't writers just ignore or block these haters? I cant imagine entertaining these hateful anons to where it drives you out of something you like doing. I understand the idea of protecting your peace but maybe that should start by not even giving them a chance. Writers dont have to answer those dickhead asks. Please keep your peace. You dont owe jack shit to those assholes. You dont even have to explain yourself. I guess i'm just at that age (38 🤫) where im gunna do what i want, when i want, for how long i want. I dont give a shit if u think im too old for fan fics, or if this is cringe. Ya know what i mean? I feel people are so concerned about what other people do. If u dont like something then mind ya fucken business and move on. Go find something that makes u happy. Do i make sense?

Anyway i finally saw the little mermaid today with my kids and i thought of you. (didnt finish it tho cuz these kids wanted to watch minecraft shit.)

Oh, man. How I wish. Trust me when I say EVERYONE starts off with this mindset, everyone comes in here with shields and armor (which is fucked out to have to do in the first place but that’s tumblr) and a headstrong determination to do what you want and ignore the haters. That mindset can last A WHILE, but it does cave, you lose the shield and armor piece by piece and eventually you just stop caring for it, it’s not worth your mental and emotional heath. It goes far beyond anon hate, and unfortunately I suspect you’ll discover that the longer you’re here. It’s pretty sucky as reader, but it’s pretty fucking garbage as a writer, because you see more, are exposed to more and are also more exposed, yourself. It’s like chalk art, you spend all your time crafting beautiful art and someone comes along, intentionally scuffs as much of it away or washes it away. It sucks when you yourself have to wash it away, pick up your supplies and leave the area.

I really hope your experience as a writer, in particular, is better though. I truly hope you can prosper here.

And omg, that makes me so happy! Was my doppelgänger amazing or was she amazing???